I tried. I really did. This sample painting for an upcoming fund-raiser was intended to be in the style of a well-known very impressionistic painter. (Thank God he's dead so he won't see my effort at copying his style.)
I'm beginning to think I do have a style after all. Loose isn't it. No matter how I try, even my most impressionistic paintings come out looking controlled. Just like I try to control everything in my life. I don't like what it says about me. I'm tight. In too many ways. I need to let go and let God as the saying goes.
How about you? Do your personality, your character strengths and weaknesses come across in your creative work? How do you feel about that, and does it influence your life and you goals?
I find that it affects me greatly. It messes with my self-esteem and forces me to analyse my priorities and goals. I want to loosen up with other people, give them the freedom they need, and I want to do the same for myself. My desire for control and perfection are killers. Yes, it makes me a better artist to strive for perfection, but it also destroys my ability to improve at the same time! What a conundrum.
But that's life. Trying to make sense of the contradictions that are us. Trying to find balance. Trying to turn it all over to God (who knows us better than we know ourselves) is the ultimate leap of faith for us control-motivated human beings, isn't it?